“You’ll shoot your eye out!”

Bainbridge Performing Arts will hold auditions for the upcoming holiday production of “A Christmas Story” on Wednesday, Sept. 7 and Thursday, Sept. 8.

Director Joanna Hardie is joined by musical director Elizabeth Faye and choreographer Debbie Pierce to present this laugh-out-loud festive farce of American Christmases past that has been cleverly re-wrapped as a new musical.

The show’s run dates are Dec. 2-4, Dec. 9-11 and Dec. 16-18, with a special pay-what-you-can preview on Dec. 1.

Rehearsals will be Oct. 3 through Nov. 30, Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays from 6:30 to 9:30 p.m., plus Saturdays from 11:30 a.m. to 5 p.m.

Roles are available for five to 10 men, two to 10 women and eight to 12 youth characters, ages 7 and older. A complete list of characters is available online at www.bainbridgeperformingarts.org/collections/auditions.

Those auditioning are requested to prepare a one- to two-minute monologue and 32 bars of a contemporary musical theatre piece. An accompanist will be provided but those auditioning must bring sheet music clearly marked and in a three-ring binder. Please ­— no outside accompanists or acapella singing.

All roles are open to audition.