Question: I’m the parent of a sixth grader, and I’ve been hearing more and more about kids being targeted online in ways that are really alarming. Between social media, gaming apps, and messaging platforms, it feels almost impossible to keep up with where the risks are.

I want to protect my child without invading their privacy or making them feel like I don’t trust them. But honestly, I don’t always know what to look for or how these situations even begin.

What signs should I watch for that might indicate my child is unsafe online?

The internet can feel like a maze for parents. New platforms, constant notifications, and headlines that highlight the dangers youth may face online. But while risks are real, it’s important to remember that technology is also a space where youth learn, connect, and explore interests in positive ways. Games, group chats, and creative platforms often give youth a sense of belonging and an outlet for self-expression. When parents approach technology only from a place of fear, it can sometimes close the door to open conversations that youth actually need most. The challenge isn’t shutting them out of these spaces, but helping them navigate them safely while knowing they are trusted.

So how can you tell when something isn’t right? Often, the red flags don’t appear on the screen; they show up in your youth’s behavior. For example, a youth who once happily shared about their online games might suddenly shut down when asked about them. They might minimize the screen when you walk into the room, delete messages quickly, or become more protective of their devices. These shifts don’t always mean danger, but they can suggest your youth is feeling conflicted, pressured, or uncertain about something they’ve encountered.

It’s also important to remember that unsafe situations aren’t always dramatic. Sometimes, they build slowly. A peer might encourage oversharing of personal details. A new “friend” online could push for private chats or photos. Exposure to content that is violent, sexual, or hateful may leave your youth unsettled, even if they don’t show it directly. The common thread in these situations is that youth often feel a mix of curiosity, fear, and shame. It’s those emotions you’re most likely to notice in their day-to-day behavior.

One of the most important protections you can offer isn’t a monitoring app, but the trust and connection you build. Youth are more likely to share when something feels wrong if they believe you’ll listen first. Showing curiosity about their favorite games, letting them teach you about new apps, and engaging without judgment communicates both interest and trust.

When concerns do come up, treat them as chances to guide rather than control. If your youth admits someone sent an uncomfortable message, work with them to block or report. If screen time is creeping too late, make a family plan for unplugging together. These collaborative steps help your youth practice responsibility while knowing you’ll support them.

The digital landscape will keep changing, but your steady presence makes the biggest difference. By noticing changes in behavior, keeping conversations open, and responding with empathy, you give your youth both safety and confidence as they grow into responsible digital citizens.

If you’re a youth or parent with a question, visit our website at askbys.org and click on “Ask a Therapist.”

Chase Myers is a licensed mental health counselor for Bainbridge Youth Services, which has a monthly column in this newspaper.