To all of those who have seen my two tiny arms with only two fingers on each hand somewhere on the island, or whose lives have crossed paths with my life, whether with stones or sand under our soles, I have grown to be such a better human being because of all of you.

Before coming to Bainbridge to teach, my life had begun its own story, which no one here knew. In order to fully understand how my story has continued to unfold to where I’ve come to now, it is helpful to know at least some more pieces in the bigger puzzle of my life – a puzzle which I am changing and creating every day.

My story started with thalidomide and is similar to the stories of many of my newly found co-members from a small nonprofit known as USA Thalidomide Survivors. That beginning was filled with denial and shame.

At my birth, doctors, nurses, and family members were shocked, dismayed, and horrified. When my grandmother saw me for the first time, she told my mom, “See what you get for being such a difficult child!” The doctors told my parents that they had no idea why I was born with my arm malformations.

Later in my childhood, my parents, but especially my father, raised me with the idea that there was no such word as can’t. I did everything that my siblings did, especially my younger brothers. I washed dishes, set the table, vacuumed, cooked, went to a private school because the public school would not take me, climbed trees, shot hoops, hit & caught baseballs, rode bikes, you-name-it – I did it, one way or another.

No one that I knew, though, was stared at, followed, or questioned like I was. I, somehow, still needed to keep going out into the public to prove myself. I tied the shoes of numerous men while younger for a quarter – a circus trick, I guess. By the time I was 30, I no longer wanted to go out in public anymore. I would tell my sister when asked to go out “garage saling” with her, “I’m not in a Hollywood mood.”

Also, after 30-some teaching interviews in which I came in “second place,” I was finally hired in the Bainbridge Island School District, where I worked for 30 years with an amazing group of co-teachers, paraeducators, and administration. Every year there, I also taught about how birth defects might happen – without really mentioning thalidomide.

All of my life, I had been told by doctors at the Shriners Children’s Hospital that my birth defects were not caused by thalidomide, as it was never approved by the U.S. government. No other doctor, as I grew older, would ever tell me differently during all of those years. As I was coming to retirement, I started searching out thalidomide people on Facebook and there they were, and there I was as well. At the same time, my thalidomide-malformed right shoulder began to make it impossible for me to use my right shoulder and arm because of the pain. Surgery became imminent.

After being declined by one surgeon to do the corrective surgery, I met a surgeon who said yes, and for the first time in my life at 66 years old, he wrote in my medical chart that my birth defect arms were connected to thalidomide without any input from me. I also reread my mom’s medical description as a part of my medical records, which reinforces the timeline for her use of thalidomide, which samples from a doctor were given to her for severe morning sickness and, probably, depression. This brought me to tears as I felt that an injured part of me was finally being seen and being allowed to begin healing. I had finally truly been seen. This is a part of where I am now beginning the journey of this next part of my life in retirement.

If you are interested in learning more about or supporting those whose lives have been affected by thalidomide, please consider donating to USA Thalidomide Survivors (a small nonprofit at the following website: usathalidomide.com). I am, now, a member of this group for more than about a year and a half or longer. USA Thalidomide Survivors encourages you to join us as we again prepare to go back to the U.S. Congress this coming September to support USA Thalidomide Survivors in our fight for justice. Our mission is to bring awareness, support, and advocacy to those born with defects from our mothers being given thalidomide during pregnancy.

Note #1 – I am a “lucky” thalidomide survivor. I have had great health benefits and continue to have these. This cannot be said for all the rest of my co-member friends.

Note #2 – Please feel free to share this story with those whom you believe would care about this or that this would make a difference for them in their lives.

Thank you, Bainbridge Island community!

Julie Haas is a retired teacher of Sakai Intermediate School on Bainbridge Island.