A tight circle: Nonprofit gives teens space to cope

Teen Talking Circles has been a stalwart for island youth, as they brave the treacherous years of acne, social hierarchy and self-determination.

Linda Wolf has raided hotel kitchens with rock stars, photographed members of an ancient Ethiopian tribe and asked luminaries weighty questions about their darkest moments, their views of God and death.

But the most important work the humanist photographer may ever do involves far less illustrious company: She convenes troupes of teenagers, as they brave the treacherous years of acne, social hierarchy and self-determination, and teaches them to talk openly.

Wolf started Teen Talking Circles in 1993 because she was concerned about her daughters.

“I could see they were going through the same recycled sexism and girls colluding in a paradigm of sexism and I did not want them to grow up that way,” she explained.

She wanted to give them a sisterhood, like she had experienced in the 1960s and later on with consciousness-raising groups, so she decided to write a book to help guide them.

Initially, Wolf and her co-founder, psychologist Karen Wind Hughes, invited girls to meet with them for 10 weeks; the stories from circle would inform the book’s topics and then their meetings would cease.

“But after the first couple of times, it was clear to everybody — there was no place like this,” Wolf said. “This couldn’t stop, just for us to write a book. So we just kept going for two years.”

And then she kept going for two decades, forming new groups and training new facilitators to lead them.

Talking circles have been a stalwart for island youth, like Gabe Seaver, who joined a men’s group nearly a decade ago, during his sophomore year of high school. He was interested in exploring what it meant to be a man, but he didn’t have strong ties to anyone who could help him do so — until he joined a circle, made up of younger and older peers and adult facilitators.

“Participating in something that was filled with intention, ritual and authentic connection really fed my soul,” Seaver said.

Skye Levari, another alumni, also felt that her time in circle changed her. “I think having a safe space to talk and use compassionate listening and communication skills was really beneficial,” she explained.

The requirements for a circle are simple: seven to nine youth, a safe space, and a basic commitment — to listen from the heart, not judge or try to fix someone.

Finding facilitators to lead circles can be a challenge, Wolf said, which is one of the reasons Bainbridge doesn’t have a circle this year — an unfortunate first. Wolf is busy co-leading a group in Seattle and no one has stepped up in her stead, though she’s still looking.

An ideal facilitator is a circle veteran or someone who has taken a training (the next one is slated for September). But Wolf says anyone who is willing and capable of holding the circle’s multiple perspectives will be successful.

She’s hoping more facilitators will emerge as she prepares to scale back from her part-time director role and focus more on photography.

“I keep saying, ‘In the next three years, in the next three years,’ but it’s real,” Wolf said. “I have missed being fully invested in my art, in my photography.”

In the meantime, she’s continuing to integrate her cause and her art as much as possible.

Wolf will be on the road, shooting for Derek Trucks and Susan Tedeschi later this year. While she’s working, she’ll interview the couple for her inspirational blog at www.teentalkingcircles.com.

“My hope is that young people and older people will see that these people who put so much time and attention into their gifts in the world were also teenagers and still carry some of their own wounds from their teen years,” she said.

In November, Wolf’s traveling to Havana with Cross Cultural Journeys and blues legend Taj Mahal. They’ll stop in clubs, where Taj Mahal will perform with Cuban musicians, and Wolf will be ready with her camera — and her Teen Talking Circles handbooks in tow.

 

Support the circles

Teen Talking Circles’ next Bainbridge Island facilitator’s training will take place Sept. 25-28. For details, visit www.ttcsummer2016.eventbrite.com.

Be on the lookout for a final date for Teen Talking Circle’s fall fundraiser. Past speakers have included Jean Kilbourne, author of “Killing Us Softly: The Effects of Advertising on Women and Girls” and Chris Jordan, a filmmaker and cultural activist.