As people re-enter society after being locked down so long due to COVID-19, there is going to be anxiety.

That is not a problem. That is normal. That’s a message psychologist Wandee Pryor of Front Street Clinic gave at on online Connections Cafe by Raising Resilience Tuesday.

On the topic “Parenting Through Change,” Pryor said anxiety will occur at different stages over the next year.

She said children who are going back to school right now may feel a sense of euphoria. But that could change later to separation anxiety being away from parents after being with them so long. Or it could lead to meltdowns for young kids or substance abuse for older ones.

Later on, kids may actually try to avoid school. They felt less pressure online, like it was more optional.

“Kids need support and time to adjust,” she said, adding, “parents can trigger more anxiety” by being demanding.

Pryor recommends validating their feels by sharing your own and normalizing them. She also recommends inquiring with curiosity rather than judgment.

One thing COVID has taught us, she said, is “There is no absolute safety.”

Another thing the coronavirus hopefully has taught us, she said, is to be more flexible. One thing she worries about is parents longing for the old normal.

“We don’t want to get back to normal. We want something new. This is a beautiful opportunity rather than a loss. Frame it the way you want it,” she said.

Pryor advised people to focus on the good changes. Some families have spent more time together than ever before, she said.

“They fight like crazy but they’ve never been closer,” parents have told her about their kids.

Others have found a great connection to nature or developed more patience and compassion. “Spend some time thinking about what you don’t want to lose,” Pryor said.

She said parents also can face anxiety when re-entering society. “Social skills can be a little rough around the edges,” she said because of the lack of human contact. “We were practicing, having conversations that were easy and intimate. Now they’re more narrow and constrained.”

Pryor talked about some breathing exercises that can help people relax and deal with anxiety. Unlike what you might think, absolute quiet or some other setting of solitude is not required.

“Mindfulness at 100 miles per hour is better than none at all,” she said.

Participants were then asked to share some positive things they have learned through the struggles of COVID.

“Improved sibling relationships. They rely on each other more,” April Avery Trabucco said, along with “follow through on big projects and the ability to dive deep.”

Krzysztofa McDonough said: “We’re all learning to better recognize and name our emotions, and help each other find coping skills.”

And Kate O’Brien added she developed a “new skill fine tuning my ability to choose hope and to communicate that to my kids in positive statements.” Plus, “My daughter has learned to say, “‘I am not OK.’”

In conclusion, Pryor said: “The problem cannot be solved. We just have to manage to live with it. Treat yourself a little kinder.”