Talking about race can be uncomfortable. So, people need to talk more about race to make it more comfortable.

That strong “Courageous Conversations” message was shared at the first meeting of the new Bainbridge Island Racial Equity Advisory Committee, which has taken the place of the previous task force.

Brenda Fantroy-Johnson, who is also on the City Council, opened their most-recent meeting by saying, “Racial equity is its own thing.” Every person has their own experiences. “I’m not speaking for everybody.” She said she wants their meetings to be a safe place for everyone to speak.

As a black person, she said she thinks about, “How do I talk to white people (about racism) so they don’t get up in arms?”

Karen Vargas said conversations about race can be difficult because of the atrocities inflicted on one another in history. She said people need to look deep and reflect or their emotions and behavior about race.

In their journey for justice, Vargas, said people need to look at the past, present and future to move forward. “If we’re not willing to look” we won’t have a “peaceful community,” she said.

To get the conversations going, committee members shared some of their stories.

Brandi Bispham said she grew up in the south where her grandparents were openly racist. But she had positive experiences early in life with a black caregiver and a black teacher. She said her parents raised her in a Christian atmosphere, so she felt no issues with race. She went to USC and was around different cultures then decided to join Peace to America and went to Compton, CA, where she was one of only three white teachers. “I was treated badly for being white,” she said.

She met her husband now of 27 years there, at a time when biracial couples were not popular, she said, so they kept their relationship a secret. Later, they moved to Bainbridge Island. She said their children have faced subtle racism. “Things that chip away at your soul,” she said, like not being invited to parties, being told by girls they don’t want to kiss them and being asked if they could touch their hair.

Daryl Blackwell moved to BI from Maryland because her God dad lived here. As an early childhood teacher she felt like the “token black woman.” She said she felt she was having to represent all black people and that put a lot of “weight on my shoulders.”

She said she teaches her 3- to 5-year-olds her own anti-racism curriculum, and said she was surprised, “They already new the hierarchy – who’s the good guy and who’s the bad guy.”

But she said she’s glad to be giving the youngsters a solid foundation. “They’re all about justice and what’s unfair.”

Blackwell said her students go home and talk to their parents at dinner about things like police violence. “More in the community should have these conversations,” she said.

Deanna Martinez said she came to BI and was told, “Go back to your own country. This is my country,” she responded.

She shared another experience when she was talking in Spanish to a cashier at a store checkout. When she moved on the man behind her said to the clerk, “I guess social hour is over.” Martinez said she couldn’t let that go, and they had words.

Martinez is an activist about race. “This place needs it. There’s plenty to do here,” she said.

Martinez said her mother is Irish American and her dad is “a very dark man” from New Mexico, and she’s still unpacking his heritage because of the mixture of cultures and change there. “Being a child of mixed heritage is a challenge,” she said.

Chastity Malatesta has been a teacher for 20 years and said BI was racially illiterate when it comes to blacks. She said many know about the local tribes and the stories of Japanese internment because they learn about them on the island. “Black history – you have not been taught,” she said.

Malatesta said that is changing. “Our youth have woken up. There’s been a cultural shift,” she said.

Malatesta said we need to learn from our mistakes and move on. “We’re growing people to leave Bainbridge Island confident to affect change.”