Even parents can use a little coaching
Published 5:00 pm Wednesday, January 12, 2005
A new business offers pointers for dealing with family challenges.
There are coaches for athletes, for executives, for actors.
Now there are coaches for the toughest job in the world: being a parent.
“Raising children is the hardest job you’ll ever do, and having teenagers raises the challenge of parenting exponentially,†said Sally Kidder Davis, one of four Bainbridge Island women – all professionally certified – who make up Sound Parent Coaching.
“What we do is help parents find for themselves what is appropriate parenting,†Davis said. “What they hear on “Oprah†or “Dr. Phil†may not be for them, or even fit with their values. We help people trust their own parenting so that when they make decisions, they feel right about it.â€
Kidder’s partners in Sound Parent Coaching – maternal health coordinator Mary Scribner, Wilkes school teacher Rachel Eden and child development advocate Chris Christensen – recently received graduate level certificates from the Bellevue-based Parent Coaching Institute, in affiliation with Seattle Pacific University.
Rather than working in the “problem solving†mode of counseling, coaches work to help clients become the parents they want to be. It’s a model based on encouragement and collaboration to find “what works†within each individual family, the women said.
At a time when many of today’s parents don’t have their own parents nearby to help them – and yet are inundated with various opinions on child-rearing from media sources – Sound Parent Coaching aims to help clients solidify their parenting skills.
Through their training, the coaches are equipped to help with many of the knotty issues that parents are confronted with on a daily basis, including age-appropriate discipline and learning, setting limits on computer and television use, and dealing with unsavory behavior.
“There are awarenesses and insights that happen as the client recognizes their strengths and is able to make changes,†Scribner said. “Many parents come to realize that they have their own answers.â€
Working through an “appreciative inquiry†model, coaches “combine the nurturing relationship of a friend, with the expertise of a professional,†the women said.
Coaching is not meant to replace counseling, but is compatible with other mental health services.
In addition to phone coaching, the coaches are also available to facilitate group discussions and presentations for schools, social services agencies, health care providers, employers, corporations and businesses.
Independently of one another, the women enrolled in Parent Coaching Institute’s graduate program after hearing about the work of founder Gloria DeGaetano of Seattle, the author of several books on child-rearing and media, including the influential “Screen Smarts,†on the effect television and other media have on children.
All were wowed by DeGaetano’s curriculum for coaching, and her four-stage paradigm for helping parents parent.
In the first phase, “discovery,†coaches help the client discern what works. In the second phase, the “dream,†they help the client envision and articulate what kind of parent they want to be.
In the third phase, “design,†the coach helps the client with skills and resources to achieve their dream. In the fourth, “destiny,†the coach helps monitor and encourage the client’s progress.
“The beauty of coaching, is that you may not be dealing with burning issues, but are more concerned about ideas about what you want from your parenting,†Eden said.
The cost for coaching is $75 per 45-60 minute phone session, which includes unlimited email responses to questions and free 15-minute check-in calls with the coach, in between weekly or bi-weekly sessions.
Clients are encouraged to sign-up for three months of coaching at the minimum.
“It is not a one-shot deal,†said Davis. “It’s a long-term process for long-term change.â€
* * * * *
Hire a coach
For more information about Sound Parent Coaching, check the web at www.soundparentcoaching.com or call 654-3450.
