Will Durst

Crazy Ted Cruz | RAGING MODERATE

Winter is over! Winter is over! Excuse the jubilation, but we ink-stained wretches love the ritual excitement that occurs every spring. This spring is extra exciting, because it comes with our big quadrennial first sighting of a red nose popping out of the presidential wannabe clown car.

A Bush vs Clinton Rematch | RAGING MODERATE

You might want to stuff your pants pockets with sand and hang onto the rail as the ship of state lurches towards the distinct possibility that the next election to command the helm will be between Jeb Bush and Hillary Clinton. The brother versus the wife. Sounds like a probate lawsuit.

The ‘E’ in Email Stands for Evidence | RAGING MODERATE

The country breathed a collective sigh of relief following Hillary Clinton's masterful press conference last week, held in response to the controversy surrounding her email troubles. "It's all fine. Don't worry about it. We got it covered. Easy peasy lemon squeezy."

Up Is Down | RAGING MODERATE

I'd advise you to sit down, pour yourself a beer and take a deep breath. You're about to hear something that will change your life. Forever. Are you relaxed?

The New Political Ice Age | RAGING MODERATE

"And that's it for sports."

Resolutions I’m Looking Forward To In 2015 | RAGING MODERATE

Usually over the period of 12 months, you get an equal balance of good days and bad. On the playground of the cosmos, the scales tend to balance out. But holey moley catfish, seems like last year the good days spent the bulk of recess time hiding behind the equipment shed next to the monkey bars, and the teeter totter hardly moved what with that fat punk-bad days, grounded on his end of the board throwing rocks at squirrels.

The Gifts They Should’ve Gotten | RAGING MODERATE

Hey guys. Did this whole crazy holy daze madcap bedlam thing sneak up on you this year, making the world speed up like a maglev Bullet Train going downhill lit by a strobe, like it did us? There's a perfectly reasonable explanation.

Bushes 3, United States 0 | RAGING MODERATE

Still recovering from the sonic bombshell dropped by Jeb Bush announcing he was officially upgrading his prospective candidate status from... considering the formation of an exploratory committee to investigate the feasibility of a possible run for the presidency to... actually authorizing the formation of an exploratory committee that will investigate the feasibility of a possible run for the presidency? Our little caterpillar is now one step closer to being a big bad beautiful butterfly.

Squatting on the Flag | RAGING MODERATE

If you believe the recently released Senate Intelligence Committee torture report, you might be tempted to conclude that the CIA lied to the press and the public and to Congress about the extent and effectiveness of its torture campaign. And that conclusion would be correct, sir.

Top Ten Comedic News Stories of 2014 | RAGING MODERATE

Hey guys, Will Durst here with your eagerly awaited Top Ten Comedic News Stories of 2014.

The True Holiday of Guilt | RAGING MODERATE

The autumn dark is lengthening, which means the English-speaking, Judeo-Christian Holiday Season is about to split open wider than a crocodile mouth at the bottom of a baby duckling water slide. It begins with Columbus Day. No mail and the banks are closed. Much is to be said for starting slow. Then the downward hurtle is set off by Halloween, when people toss about candy, free, incognito.

Obama and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day | RAGING MODERATE

To call the grotesque drubbing suffered by the Democratic Party in the midterms monumental, is like referring to the surface of the sun as warm. The scene was so grisly, acutely sensitive Democrats (most of them) were forced to avert their eyes or risk anaphylactic shock.

We Burn Witches, Don’t We? RAGING MODERATE

Gather round kiddies, because it's time for Uncle Will to regale you with the funny side of Ebola. Oh, yeah, there is one. Just need a trained professional to find it.

The Orange and Black | RAGING MODERATE

Here it comes. Creeping down dark alleys. Overturning garbage cans and spooking black cats. The scariest day of the year. With the exception of your next birthday, that is. Halloween. All Hallow's Eve. The night preceding All Saint's Day. Time to carve a gourd.

One Man, One Vote | RAGING MODERATE

Whiners. Bounders. Ingrates. Talking about the incessant griping and sniping currently buzzing over long overdue Republican reforms requiring citizens to produce a government issued ID before casting a vote.

Scary Masks | RAGING MODERATE

Hey everybody. The Midterms Are Coming! Or rather: the midterms are coming.

Rocktober | RAGING MODERATE

Welcome to Rocktober, Baby. That's what all the rock-and-roll radio stations call this, the 10th month of the year. Doesn't require more than a casually cocked ear to realize the airwaves are flooded with concerts and giveaways and promotional tie-ins. All in the name of Rocktober, Baby.

Where’s My iPony? RAGING MODERATE

Shake off the blues, put on your shoes, and tell grandma the news: The next generation iPhones are here.

How They Spent Their Summer Vacation | RAGING MODERATE

September is a grand month for traditions. Fresh pencils and tablets for the upcoming school year. The approach of fall as evidenced by the turning of the leaves. International Talk Like a Pirate Day on the 19th. The official start to the NFL season with the filing of the first domestic abuse charge.

T-Minus 28 Months and Counting | RAGING MODERATE

Bust out the gin and tonics because this is shaping up to be one heck of a long hot summer.