To the editor:

I don’t know who selected the name “Art Walk,” but surely it was named to fool the public and authorities into believing it to be a benign and peaceful gathering of art lovers. In reality, alcohol is involved, snuck into the studio venues like the Coors I stole from my Uncle Frank’s fridge.

One might think that there was mass debauchery, such as bare breasted ladies soliciting plastic beads from passersby, vomit and urine along the storefronts and trash thrown all about. That must be why the authorities showed up last Friday evening threatening to stop the wine tasting during Art Walk. An ominous figure appeared, dressed all in black. He handed out crisp business cards and warned that those serving alcohol were in big trouble. He was enforcing the law. He was doing his job.

And now there will be significant debate about Art Walk and wine. Is wine really necessary at Art Walk? Silly question. I was initially on the proverbial fence, ‘cause I drink beer. However, later that evening, after the studios were closed, I did see people smoking cigars much too close to the entry of an establishment. That’s illegal and so is jaywalking by the way.

So, I am now standing up to take a firm position on this important issue. I think the man in black, who hands out business cards, should forget about the wine at Art Walk. He should get new business cards and go after cigar smokers and jaywalkers. That way, art on Winslow Way will endure and he will be welcomed among the Monuments Men.

MARK JOHNSON

Bainbridge Island