First Queer Meet coming to Bainbridge Ale House
Published 1:30 am Thursday, September 25, 2025
When Mariam Rahmani and her partner first moved to Bainbridge Island from the Midwest, she was excited to experience queer culture on the West Coast.
As a lesbian in Indianapolis, she was part of a tight-knit queer community with a vibrant business district and robust Pride celebration — “not quite the (Castro District in San Francisco), but that was the aim,” she said. But when the couple moved to BI, Rahmani was surprised to learn that not only was the queer community less visible, there were few dedicated places for young queer adults and youth.
“I think it’s pretty common for a city, for queer communities to band together — I guess it’s a little bit easier, right, when you have a higher population and you have more places to go. Perhaps it’s just a lack of gathering spaces, whether they’re planned or not, on the island,” Rahmani said. “A lot of customers [at my plant shop] that I’ve talked to who are queer and over age 65 have told me that there’s still quite a few people here that are in the closet on the island, which I was really surprised by.”
Queer Elders Family Group, organized through the BI Senior Community Center, has been the focal point of Rahmani’s experience with queer community on the island so far. She’s attended nearly every meeting, Queer Bingo, and both Bainbridge and Poulsbo Pride, but could not help observing that her peers were missing.
“It’s mostly allies here, which is wonderful, but I know there’s a queer community here, and I think we just have to dig deeper to see how we can bring them out, because it’s a safe island, it’s a loving island, it’s a warm island — there’s a lot of love here I see every day,” said Rahmani. “I think it’s just trying to reach the community members here that are queer and to make them feel and let them know that it’s safe to come out and join together.”
As a veteran of meetup groups herself — she met her partner at a lesbian speed-dating event in 2018 — Rahmani decided to pay the experience forward. On Oct. 7, Bainbridge Ale House will host the first-ever Queer Meet Bainbridge, a mixer for LGBTQ+ Kitsap residents to say hi and make connections.
“Outside of friendship and romance, there’s also community. So even if you really weren’t seeking a new friend, and you just wanted that sense of community and to be with the community, you could do that too,” said Rahmani.
It’s designed to be low-stakes so that everyone feels welcome, while still maintaining people’s privacy, she explained.
Attendees will fill out a form online before the event and are matched with another person with whom they share some interests. When they arrive, they get a conversation prompt and five to ten minutes to chat with their partner, then they switch. At the end of the conversation, the attendee can mark privately on a card whether or not they’d like to keep in touch with their conversation partner — if there’s a match, event organizers will share their contact information.
Still, being an out queer person in public can be intimidating, Rahmani acknowledged.
“The hardest thing is to get yourself there — just getting over that mental hurdle. I think getting yourself in a comfortable space to be open, and not rely on too many expectations of what will come from the event, even if you’re open to romance and a relationship,” said Rahmani. “Perhaps look at it as an opportunity to make friendships and start there, and that may relieve some of the pressure that you may be feeling.”
Rahmani added: “It would be nice to see the queer community on the island come together regardless of identity, age, color, and I think we would see it less disjointed and fractioned off,” said Rahmani. “I think that’s going to take more involvement from younger people. We need the younger population on the island to take the reins and be a little bit more forceful in terms of uniting the community, whether they’re uncomfortable or not.”
For more information, visit queermeet.com/event-details/queer-meet-bainbridge-island
