Reign of Error | Raging Moderate

It’s been quite a year, the exact reverse of that whole “time flies when you’re having fun” thing.

These last twelve months have slogged by like cold molasses riddled with bat guano dripping through a tightly woven bamboo sieve. It seems like decades since Donald Trump became the 45th President of the United States. Shouldn’t he be termed out by now?

After a mere 12 months, his problems have stacked up like a bouquet of bombs from the Acme Co. being wafted aloft by helium balloons approaching an archery range for easily distracted pre-teens. Anybody who watched the televised White House bipartisan meeting can tell you the former reality TV star exhibits a mastery of his office on the level of a duck-billed platypus playing a harpsichord.

Trump’s administration has been marked by division, derision, indecision and a distinct lack of supervision. Confusion, seclusion, delusion and collusion. Lazy, hazy, crazy: cheesy, sleazy, wheezy, breezy and enough turmoil to make the entire world both uneasy and/or a little queasy.

During the first 365 days of Dopey Donald’s Reign of Error, we have survived an unending stream of blatant lies, graphic insults, myopic intransigence, illiterate cluelessness, overt racism, monumental chaos, nuclear intimidation and a general coarsening of the culture to where the evangelical community is forced to reconcile a porn star payoff with its own staggering sense of self righteousness. Futilely.

In the recent book, “Fire and Fury,” author Michael Wolff intimated that 100 percent of White House insiders believe their boss is a couple of sandwiches short of a picnic, if you catch his drift. The wheel is spinning but the hamster is dead. Snuck into the gene pool while the lifeguard was chatting up the girl who runs the hot dog stand. Has the same mental capacity that God gave a bucket of hair.

Then, as if to stamp the book with his own fuzzy seal of approval, the former New York City real estate developer demonstrated that no matter how many allies he antagonizes, family members he insults, staffers he impugns, fellow Republicans he alienates, or conventions he flaunts, his own worst enemy remains… himself.

Attempting to stem backlash from Wolff’s book, the president tweeted, (and these are quotes) that he is “like, really smart.” And a “stable genius.” A statement that most experts interpret as meaning he’s really good with horse manure. Which probably comes in handy when interacting with Sloppy Steve Bannon.

Trump also twisted himself into a rhetorical battle with Kim Jong Un over whose nuclear button is bigger. When we all know it has to be Ivanka’s dad, who needs the larger expanse to accommodate his diminutive hands. These two should be locked into a cell on an abandoned freighter in the South Pacific so that they can measure and get it over with.

Then the brief government shut down precipitated an eruption of the Blame Game that witnessed both Republicans and Democrats flinging mud at each other with so much excess hitting the president, many referees questioned the actual target.

Senate Majority leader Mitch McConnell said “I’m looking for something the president supports” making it sound like a mythical beast. Less unicorn — more dodo bird. And all this has gone down in the first three weeks of 2018. Fasten your seat belts folks, it’s going to be a bumpy year.

Will Durst is an award-winning, nationally acclaimed columnist, comic and former sod farmer in New Berlin, Wisconsin.

More in Opinion

Getting There Is Now One-Tenth of One Percent the Fun | Peter Funt

I’ve just returned from my summer vacation, which I now take in… Continue reading

A Few Choice Words About Mueller’s Investigation | Raging Moderate

We now offer up a few choice words concerning the continuing investigation… Continue reading

Kitsap, Naturally: Rehab in the forest | Nancy Sefton

For me personally, it began with the sad sight of a stately… Continue reading

Today’s cartoon for Thursday, May 24

Today’s cartoon is by Christo Komarnitski, Bulgaria.… Continue reading

Today’s cartoon for Wednesday, May 23

Today’s cartoon is by Dave Granlund, PoliticalCartoons.com.… Continue reading

Is Your Town Bribing New Residents? | Tyrades!

The fact that the U.S. unemployment rate is at a 17-year low… Continue reading

Trump-Approved Candidate in Trouble in Pennsylvania | John L. Micek

Sometimes, even when you win, you lose. Just ask U.S. Rep. Lou… Continue reading

Trump’s 68th week in office | In cartoons

Whiplash! Time passes so quickly, we find ourselves falling behind a bit… Continue reading

Build new station in original location | Letter to the editor

To the editor: Again we have a threatening situation at our High… Continue reading

Most Read