Editor’s note: This is the final installment of ‘Dispatches from the Academy,” an eight-part series relating Review reporter Luciano Marano’s experiences as a member of the most recent Bainbridge Island Police Department’s Citizen’s Police Academy class. Anyone can apply to attend the periodic program, which gives participants a hands-on look at the function and duties of the BIPD and other local, related agencies. Call 206-842-5211 or email policedept@bainbridgewa.gov for more info about the next academy.

At last! Let it begin.

After 12 weeks of training, two field trips and one signed waiver, I’m ready to hit the bad streets of Bainbridge and walk the thin blue line that separates order from chaos. I’m ready to do a ride-along.

All my years of action movie studies have prepared me for this moment. I’m aching for a car chase. Just point me to the nearest drug cartel. I’m on it.

And I’m not alone. I’ll be working with Bainbridge Island Police Department Officer Gary Koon, the department’s primary firearms instructor, during my two-hour tour of Bainbridge by night.

It’s perfect: he’s a tall, soft spoken professional. I’m a short, smart aleck rookie. He’s an expert in his field, seen it all. I don’t exactly go “by the book,” being more the “loose canon” kind of lawman.

If he says, “I’m getting too old for this,” I may squeal.

Cue the cool ’80s saxophone noir soundtrack, Bainbridge. This ride-along has all the makings of a sweet buddy cop flick.

After a quick tour of the station and his patrol car, we hop in and hit the road. Koon intensely eyes the darkened streets outside the secure glow of the car’s interior lights. What dangers stir in the night? Who can say? We sit silently for a moment as I likewise steel my nerves for the long night ahead. Finally, he speaks.

“Please remember to stay in the car.”

I nod back, equally grave. “Right on, man — wait. What?”

“Yeah,” he says. “If something should happen, stay in the car and radio for help.”

Stay in the car? Does this guy not realize I just graduated from the Citizen’s Police Academy? Does he not understand that I had perfect attendance? Does he not comprehend that I’ve seen every single “Die Hard” and “Lethal Weapon” movie multiple times?

Fortunately for all, the issue of whether or not I should stay in the car doesn’t come up again. Throughout my ride along we’ll investigate one oddly parked car, one suspicious man out for a midnight walk, and pull over one weirdly swerving car, but no arrests — and no emergencies — result.

This time, at least.

I actually chose to tag along at the tail end of a rather hectic week for the BIPD. One which saw them embroiled in arrests resulting from a sex assault investigation, the capture of a persistent bike thief, the impounding and search of a suspect vehicle, all the usual car accidents, domestic calls, scammer reports and whatnot — oh, and the apprehension of a murder suspect, too.

Perhaps Bainbridge, and the cops, had earned a quiet night, I thought, leaving the station, ride-along at an end.

I’d love to tell you I found the action I sought on my way home, that I stopped a mugging or came upon a thief in time to masterfully pull off a citizen’s arrest. But things like that only happen in the movies, and my trip home was without incident.

I did, however, then proceed to nuke up some popcorn and screen “Hard to Kill.” It was epic. Officer Koon had told me his favorite cinematic portrayal of police work is “The Wire.” Fair enough. That’s a great show. Not a lot of guys getting thrown through windows in it, though. And I’m a man of very specific tastes.

Any resident can apply to go on a ride along with the BIPD — having attended the Citizen’s Police Academy is not required. Stop by the station to request the necessary paperwork, and then return it to the front office. A basic background check will be conducted, and then you’ll be contacted about scheduling. It’s a really great experience and I highly recommend anyone even mildly interested in police work, the workings of the island department, or the insider scoop on the current station, stop by.