Police respond to messy pants-on-the-ground caper


July 5, 2012 · 5:29 PM

Police are asked to do a lot in the line of duty, from helping open locked cars to chasing down bank robbers.

But recently Bainbridge Island Police had to respond to a more unique, and foul-smelling, disturbance.

Early in the morning on Sunday, July 1, island police began receiving reports of a half-naked man running along Winslow Way and quickly responded.

Officers arriving on the scene, however, found the reports did not relay the entire story.

The man was found on a Winslow Way porch, with no pants on. He had also defecated on himself.

Police noticed the man’s pants folded in a nearby corner and they too were soiled.

It became clear to officers that the man was very intoxicated.

But when police attempted to arrest the man for disturbing the public, he began to scream that the soiling was not his doing.

Officers placed the man in a special suit so that he could be transported to jail.

While in transit, the intoxicated man continued to insist that the “mess” did not originate from him. He then began to use derogatory and life-threatening statements against officers.

Authorities later opted to not pursue charges against the man.

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