Ask Erin: On gifts, invites and kids at the wedding | Kitsap Week

Have a question? Ask Erin. - Richard Walker
Have a question? Ask Erin.
— image credit: Richard Walker

Dear Erin,
Between the wedding, moving and getting used to being married, I just don't have time to write thank you notes. Is it OK if I email my thank yous?
Overwhelmed in Olalla

Dear Olalla,
No can do. They were thoughtful and gave you a gift, you need to return the favor and be kind enough to send a stamped letter. The burden of writing thank you notes should be shared between both you and your spouse.

The letter should acknowledge the item and state how you will use it. The letter doesn't have to be lengthy, but should be longer than the last one I received: "Dear KW, Thank you for the set of dishes. We really enjoyed the dishes. Once again, thank you for the dishes. Thanks again, Bride and Groom." A little personalization goes a long way and makes the receiver feel as if you truly acknowledged them, not just ran their name through a thank-you machine.

* * *

Dear Erin,
We do not want children at our wedding and have clearly stated our wishes. I still fear that some guests might show up with kids in tow. How should we handle their rudeness?
Perplexed in Poulsbo

Dear Poulsbo,
This is tricky. The angel in their eyes is a loud-mouth screamer in yours. If they arrive at your wedding with their little one, this is a time to take a deep breath and hold your tongue. There is nothing you can do that won't make you look like a complete Bridezilla. Hopefully the offending parents planned ahead and brought toys to entertain and food to nourish the young one. Maybe you'll be lucky and the little nugget will sleep through the entire event.

(NOTE TO WEDDING ATTENDEES: When you receive your wedding invitation, please pay special attention to the way the invitation is addressed. This is your clue as to who is invited. If it only has your name, than you are the only one invited. If it has your name, plus "and guest" then you are free to bring a date. If you are married, you should both be included. If it says "Mr. and Mrs. Jones and family" then you can bring your children.)

* * *

Dear Erin,
Is it OK to include the stores where we are registered along with our wedding invitations?
Shopping in Silverdale

Dear Silverdale,
It is never OK to include registry information from the bride and groom. Instead, to get the word out, tell your bridal party and other close friends. The word will spread. After all, gifts are given in celebration of you, not necessarily to beef up your sheets' thread count.

If guests ask you where you are registered, then it's fine to tell let them know. Of course it's always polite to follow it up with, "Your presence at our wedding is gift enough."

— Ask Erin is a new feature of Kitsap Week. If you would like help finding a solution to a problem, write Erin Jennings, Kitsap Week, P.O. Box 278, Poulsbo, WA. 98370. Or email

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