Will Durst

Will posted 124 stories to Bainbridge Island Review.
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Will Durst’s 21st Annual Political Animal Awards | RAGING MODERATE

A major silver lining in this cruelest month of April is a lull between show business awards galas. The lack of gold plated statuettes being flung about mercifully allows many Americans to stand upright for the first time in months.

  • Apr 16th, 2016 5:21pm

Now it’s the Dems that are Getting Nasty | RAGING MODERATE

And once again America reaches for the Tylenol after wrenching its collective back recoiling from the wacky ugliness monopolizing the presidential election primary process, but this time, it's... the Democrats.

  • Apr 11th, 2016 4:24pm

Is This the End of Trump? | RAGING MODERATE

Go ahead, exhale a deep sigh of relief because our long national nightmare could very well be over. Yes, dear friends, Donald Trump might have bitten off more than he can chew and we may be mere moments away from combing him out of our hair for good. Then throw away the comb.

  • Apr 4th, 2016 4:02pm

Trump’s Mama Is So Fat… | RAGING MODERATE

How low can a presidential campaign go? In 2016, the answer to that question is find a snake belly and dig.

  • Mar 28th, 2016 5:19pm

Plump Grumps Humping to Dump Trump | RAGING MODERATE

The "Stop Donald Trump" movement began as a gentle trickle within the Republican party. Now the number of GOP groups intent on preventing the New York real estate developer from becoming their presidential nominee is about to exceed broken March Madness brackets. Thanks, Michigan State.

  • Mar 23rd, 2016 12:10am

Super Tuesday Coming Back to Bite the GOP | RAGING MODERATE

It's become painfully obvious that the term "Super Tuesday" was coined for the quantity of elections contested, not the quality of participants involved. Otherwise, we'd be forced to change the name to Kind of Okay Tuesday. Or Is It Really Necessary to be This Loud Tuesday.

  • Mar 8th, 2016 5:25pm

We Can Trust the FBI, Right? | RAGING MODERATE

This huge brouhaha between the FBI and Apple has escalated into a battle royale between the righteous and the wicked. And, as often happens, both sides are claiming to be on the side of the angels.

  • Mar 1st, 2016 6:09pm

Frequently Asked Questions: Scalia’s Replacement | RAGING MODERATE

Q. Has the issue of Justice Antonin Scalia's replacement on the Supreme Court turned a mite political? A. You could say that. You could also say that flight simulation wind-tunnels are tough on comb-overs.

  • Feb 20th, 2016 6:32pm

Iowa, Where Everyone’s a Winner | RAGING MODERATE

The great state of Iowa has a history of cultivating its topsoil for a harvest of winners the rest of the country may enjoy. Glenn Miller. Buffalo Bill Cody. George Reeves. Herbert Hoover. James Tiberius Kirk. As a side note, this may be the first time in history the word "enjoy" has been linked to Herbert Hoover.

  • Feb 5th, 2016 5:33pm

New Yorkie Values | RAGING MODERATE

To taunt his rival and sow seeds of evangelical doubt, Rafael Edward "Ted" Cruz informed Donald Trump that the rest of the country was concerned about his alarming New York Values, totally ignoring the greater danger of the real estate developer's aerodynamic coif toppling over and knocking innocent supporters unconscious with its hard candy shell.

  • Jan 22nd, 2016 6:54pm

The Real State of the Union | RAGING MODERATE

In his last State of the Union Address, that renowned weaver of uplifting platitudes, President Barack Obama, crocheted his constituents one final quilt of bittersweet melancholy to remember him by. Not a victory lap so much as someone pulling his arms inside the chains preparing to dismount a swing over a crocodile pit.

  • Jan 18th, 2016 4:26pm

Christie, ISIS and Other 2016 Predictions | RAGING MODERATE

At the beginning of a new year, cultures all over the world traditionally perform peculiar ceremonies meant to wipe the slate clean and start afresh.

  • Jan 5th, 2016 6:02pm

2016: What To Expect | RAGING MODERATE

It's hard to believe, but we're on the brink of another presidential election year. Let us pray. Every quadrennial, the American political process plays out as a big-top carnival sideshow featuring moral contortionists, ethical geeks and fat sweaty white guys teetering on slack media wires.

  • Dec 28th, 2015 9:08pm

The Candidates’ Holiday Traditions | RAGING MODERATE

It's the most wonderful time of the year. And a large part of what makes it so goldarn fabulous is the festive array of idiosyncratic traditions each family imprints on their holiday gene map like a candy cane tattoo on the soft flesh behind your knee.

  • Dec 21st, 2015 4:13pm

‘Might Makes Right’ is Wrong | RAGING MODERATE

Bullies love fear. And once they sniff its smoke, the real pros know how to fuel and exploit it.

  • Dec 14th, 2015 5:36pm

Top Ten Comedic News Stories of 2015 | RAGING MODERATE

Be still your beating hearts, because the agonizing wait is over. Wake the kids. Rake the leaves. Fake speaking in tongues. Yes, it's the most wonderful time of the year, when the eagerly awaited list of Top Ten Comedic News Stories of 2015 is finally, mercifully released. Yoke an ox. Toke some skunk. Poke Uncle Bud to make sure he's still ambulatory.

  • Dec 12th, 2015 6:10pm

Trump’s Game-Changing Candidacy | RAGING MODERATE

Get out the big black Sharpie and pull down the official Presidential Campaign Manual because its time to redact the rules. Reality television star Donald Trump has altered the way politics is played to an extent that is game-changing. Judged on a scale of one to ten, think somewhere in the mid five figures.

  • Dec 1st, 2015 5:17pm

How Many Turkeys Died for your Dinner? | RAGING MODERATE

We've spent such a large portion of the past year cringing at the prospect of potential disasters crouching behind every bush: ISIS, Putin, Trump, Belicheck, lion-killing dentists, that a national holiday right about now is a blessed respite. For one 24-hour period, the whole country can focus on something benign. Unless, you're a Black Friday shopper. But those are self-inflicted injuries.

  • Nov 24th, 2015 8:11pm

Anchor Baby Battle | RAGING MODERATE

Prepare for earth-shattering news - immigration has become a key issue in the race for the Republican nomination.

  • Nov 18th, 2015 4:44am

Who Wouldn’t Want This Job? | RAGING MODERATE

It's like a train wreck. Fascinating, repellant, and loud, all at the same time. Talking about the American presidential sweepstakes.

  • Nov 3rd, 2015 12:22am